How Yesterday's Choices Derail Today's Train

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For a while, I was doing really well. I woke up at 4:30, made tea, and read my Bible. I prayed for the day. I prayed through our church directory and emailed the brothers and sisters with encouragement. I refreshed my memory verses and spend some time writing articles for this blog. And I was ready for work at 6:00. And then it all collapsed and all I could do on a good day was manage a quiet time.

As you can tell by the lack of updates recently, something went haywire. What happened? Nothing particularly shocking or bad. Work suddenly turned busy and unpredictable, affecting my routine and causing stress. Kids were off for the summer so we spent more time together. Writing took a back seat because it stopped being enjoyable; at least other things sounded more appealing. Depression was never a problem for me, but one aspect of it—not being interested in anything—became more common: Nothing sounds good, I’ll just lay here for a bit, thank you.

Ever the problem solver, I have been trying to figure out why this happened and how to fix it. One reason was almost certainly lack of exercise. Before I was banished to work from home, I rode my bike to work almost daily. Attempts to make up for it by running or cycling on weekends failed for lack of discipline (and desire). A more acute reason for a mediocre day is often a late bed time the day before. If I don’t go to sleep by 9 or so, I will almost certainly not get up at 4:30 (my tired mind is very good at making excuses). Sleeping in means no Bible, no memorization, little prayer, no writing. Such a start to my day affects the rest of it. And so is today’s train derailed by yesterday’s choices.

What’s the answer? I am not quite sure. More exercise, surely. Trying my best to build all these habits again, too. Probably letting the disciplines guide my feelings, instead of the reverse. And I would definitely appreciate your prayers, too.

Photo by Arganka Yahya on Unsplash